Let's Recap

I am now deeply rooted in my third trimester. In fact, in one more week I cross over into my 8th month. Which means that the "Glory Days" of the 2nd trimester are over. Very, very , over.

Within the last week I have:

Gone into full pregnancy melt down mode while arguing with my husband. He was pretty upset to, but I lost it! Lost it in a way only a pregnant woman can. We were on the road, so stuck in the car together, and we pulled over for a needed Starbucks stop. Once inside, beyond all of my best efforts, I could not pull myself together and was still crying by the time I got to the counter to order my latte. From this I learned that the people of Starbucks are extra nice to you when you are pregnant and have clearly lost control of your emotions. They get you your donut in a hurry!

Braved another Starbucks and proceeded to break a display mug. To be fair, I'm not certain that it broke completely. It had many pieces that would move and spin around the main cup part. But it did fall into many many pieces right on the counter in front of the friendly guy who was handing me my coffee. He too was very nice to me and didn't make me buy it.

Been taken down to the ground by a dangerous combination of Relaxin, the hormone in the body that relaxes all of your joints so that you can give birth, and a pebble at the dog park. While casually walking through the dog park I stepped on a pebble and my ankle gave completely out, popped like it does when its being sprained, and I fell all the way to the ground. Scraping up my other knee and lower leg though, so no belly falls to worry about. When I stood up I looked around and saw one guy, who clearly watched me fall, spin around and turn his back to me so as to seem like he didn't just witness the pregnant lady in an unmissable orange tank top fall all the way to the ground! I would've laughed too if I'd seen it.

Had my fist spontaneous nose bleed of my adult life. I was getting a much awaited for mani pedi and my feet had just been wrapped in a foot mask and three hot towels when I felt my nose start to run. I reached for a Kleenex just as the manicure guy was reaching for my hand to start my nails and I said out loud "My nose is bleeding". To that my friend I was with started laughing and I tipped my head back a little bit. The owner of the salon rushed over and starts to lean my massage chair back. At this an older woman sitting at a manicure table on the complete other side of the salon starts shouting "SHE CAN'T LEAN BACK! DON'T LEAN HER BACK!" I was startled at this and then when the salon owner shouted back "45 degrees. She can be 45 degrees!" and I lost it and both my friend and I started laughing hysterically while trying to get the bleeding to stop. Next the owner comes back owner and says "You chewing gum? Spit it out.....please." So I did, because he was serious.

Thank God I only have 9 more weeks. If I had to go around like this for many more weeks, crying, bleeding and breaking things, I'm afraid my neighborhood would call for my quarantine.